From the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska,
it's the Top Ten List for October 29, 1999

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At The Bottom Of A World SeriesPile On

10. "Oh my God, we're missing the Bradley-Gore debate!"
9. "Uh guys, it's only the third inning."
8. "Hi, I'm Hillary Clinton, and I want to be your senator."
7. "This reminds me of last night at your sister's house."
6. "I can't move my hands--will somebody scratch me?"
5. "Oh, so that's what Luis Sojo's cleat tastes like."
4. "I'd like to talk to all of you about the benefits ofScientology."
3. "The season's over, so I'll finally have time to treat thismysterious, oozing skin condition."
2. "Mmm, you smell like fresh lilacs."
1. "This is man-tastic!"

and this tidbit from GLAMOUR magazine:

in the Nov 99 issue ofGlamour,

An article titled

"Ten Reasons to Be Psyched You're NOT Dating a Celebrity"

#4 Your schedule remains wide open since you're never pressured to attend his Scientology meetings.