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"Marks on paper are free - free speech, press, pictures - all go together."
Georgia O'Keefe
artist, 1916


This page was crafted in response to the Tom Cruise interview in Spiegel April 17th 2005, LINK

A future Comedy Central script

Voiceover: Do you want to watch The Last Samurai or War of the Worlds but are concerned about the CULTIC influence of one of its stars? NOW, you don't need to feel left out.... has the answer, for just 3 easy payments of $66.60 you will recieve the


The Tom Cruise Safe Movie Viewing Kit

Included in this kit: A white Dupont Tyvek(tm) full body HAZMAT Suit. Impact resistant goggles, full face mask Breathing filters with PURPLE (OSHA Class IV) organic toxin filters and ACID resistant RED neoprene gloves, AND if you order RIGHT NOW, we'll send you a absolutely free...A pair of RED ear protectors!!

Coming soon, ( but not soon enough: the - The John Travolta Battlefield Earth Upgrade: ( not illustrated )

Includes a special 25 foot long DIVING SNORKEL for safe breathing while navigating submerged in deep vats of doo-doo... and a Corrosion resistant, stainless steel CODPIECE to protect you from what your freinds will try to do to you...for making them watch that movie.

Image of Codpiece from John Travolta's Battlefield Earth Stinker

Above: Image of Codpiece from John Travolta's Battlefield Earth Stinker,

Coming Soon: The Kirsti Alley DIY Home Lobotomy kit

Image of scientologist celebrity kirsti alley flipping the bird

Ask about our special on 36" long stainless steel tongs for safely disposing of Free Personality Analysis or Introductory Movie 'tickets' from street hawkers.

stainless steel tongs for safe disposal of scientology literature

ACT NOW, The mind you save, may be your own!

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Cartoon, showing sheep walking off a cliff... various captions including - Scientology is the answer..