I got an email from a legal representative of the Church of Scientology today. I will enclose the original email and my reply at the end of this post. These legal emails are becoming quite common and I note that some of those emails and the replies sent to them are webbed by various posters here. These emails allow the posters to exercise their own wit and sharp thinking in giving a reply. The effect of the reply is to let the sender know that they are no fools either when it comes to legal matters and they were not intimidated by the email and nor are they ever likely to be. They let the sender know in a well worded response that they have crossed swords with an equal if not more competant player in the legal arena.
It reminds me of sword fighting as seen on some adventure films such as those featuring the Scarlet Pimpernel. An English dandy and a fop to all appearances but a cunning and daring fighter and expert swordsman his real identity. The Scarlet Pimpernel would come up against the evil swordfighting Frenchman, with the Frenchman expecting an easy victory only to find that he had bitten of more than he was able to chew. There would be scenes where the swords would be locked with the Frenchamn smiling, sensing victory, only for the two fighters to push each other apart. Then the Frenchman would wonder why a button had just fallen of his jacket. This would happen again and the Frenchman would get increasingly worried and desperate as the Scarlet Pimpernel would increasingly take control of the situation.
The legal profession employs this sabre rattling and bluster a great deal but when it comes to the real fight then the clear thinking and clever fighting skills show through and the best player will often be the victor. In replying to the email I received I did indeed consider myself to be a sort of aristocratic and oh so English Scarlet Pimpernel of the legal arena. In replying I used my sharpness of thought and keeness of wit to let the sender know that they have indeed crossed swords with someone who was their equal or better and that whatever they had previously thought would be an easy victory would end up nothing of the sort. In short they are brought to realise that they have thrown down a challenge to a talented player in the legal arena and they could have a real fight on their hands.
It is with great pleasure, therefore, that I join that illustrious group of posters on ars who have had the pleasure of drafting a witty and considered response to an email hinting at or even threatening legal action. I proudly present my reply to as well as the original email I received.
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Dear Mr. Rashleigh-Berry:
As you are well-aware, I represent Religious Technology Center
The Advanced Technology materials are confidential, unpublished,
You have already been advised and obviously know that you have
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/BTs.ra
As I have advised you about this before, your actions in this
Please remove these materials immediately.
Sincerely,
Dear Ms Kobrin:
Fuck Off.
Yours,
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Fri, 31 Oct 1997 12:43:21 -0800 (PST)
Date: Fri, 31 Oct 1997 12:43:17 -0800 (PST)
From: Helena Kobrin
Subject: Unauthorized Use of Copyrighted Materials
To: roland.rashleigh-berry@virgin.net
Message-ID:
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("RTC"), the owner of the confidential Advanced Technology of the
Scientology religion and the holder of exclusive rights under the
copyrights applicable to the Advanced Technology materials.
copyrighted works, which includes certain confidential and
unpublished tape-recorded lectures by Mr. L. Ron Hubbard.
I also represent the Church of Scientology International ("CSI"),
the exclusive licensee of the copyrights to tape-recorded lectures
of the Scientology religion that are not part of the Advanced
Technology.
placed RTC's and CSI's tape-recorded copyrighted works on your home
page, without the authorization of my clients. These works can be found
under the following URLs:
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Casbah.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Christgm.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Crowley.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/DC-8s.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Dumping.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Friends.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Helabtrob.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Helicopt.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Jupiter.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Nochrist.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Obscdog.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/RomnCath.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Vanallen.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/Venusloc.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/XenuRA.ra
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/PopeW6UK.zip
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/PopeW6US.zip
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/XenuW6US.zip
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/XenuW6UK.zip
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/XenxW6US.zip
http://www.primenet.com/~xenu.bat/XenxW6UK.zip
regard constitute copyright infringement and you are therefore
violating the copyright laws of the United States. I have
repeatedly had to warn you of this action. You have repeatedly
ignored my warnings and forced your two previous access providers
to remove these materials from their system. I have informed your
current access provider of all of your actions in this regard.
Helena Kobrin
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Roland Rashleigh-Berry.