Title: Re: Dylan Gill: a short life story
Birgitta Dagnell <bid@extrico.se
Date: Tue, 12 Aug 1997 18:12:41 +0200

Martin Hunt wrote:

 Dylan gave me permission to post this; perhaps it could be webbed
 too in the sections on ex-scns speak, experiences in scn, etc.:

Martin, please tell Dylan that I appreciated
his story very much and that I am
glad that he is out of it. If he want communication to another ex-member
can write me.
Yours,  Birgitta


 When I was 14 years old my relationship with my father took a turn
 for the worse. Once we had been the best of friends and then we just
 started disagreeing on everything we could think of. We would yell
 at each other for what seemed like hours. This problem was getting
 and there seemed no hope for us, until my uncle one day told us of
 a course we could take that would help us communicate better. From
 the start my father was very happy about this. So the very next week
 we went down to the Santa Cruz mission to sign up for the Comm course.

 this course only cost 50.00. The very next day we were on course
 learning how to communicate with each other. We did all of the TRs
 OT TR0 - TR4. while on the comm course I signed up for an auditor
 seminar and the next week I was auditing dianetics, I as well learned
 self analysis.

 Well, my fathers and my relationship seemed to get turns better,
 we were just coming away, life was just grand. We started hanging
 around my uncle and his wife a lot (both in scn). we started hanging
 less and less around the rest of our family. A couple of years passed
 and we were on lines (neat scn term) at the concord mission. I was
 doing my upper indoc TRs and taking a student hat course. This Scn
 stuff was pretty cool and all but I also wanted hang out with my
 teenage friends, soon this got me into trouble and I went through
 my first Scn ethics cycle (it sucked balls!) I was 15 and writing
 something about how I will never let down my group etc.. As the
 months went on my father took me out of school and sent me to
 live with my great-grandparents.

 Of course I had to attend course at the mission. I was now 14 and
 living out in the country (6miles from town) I was to stay with them
 and take care of them, they were very old. I did not like this very
 much as I wanted to goof off with my friends. Pretty soon I started
 taking money from my grandparents and talking an older friend to
 drive out and pick me up so we could hang out and party. After a year
 of this and about three visits from very beautiful Sea Org members(all

 women) my great grandfather died one night in his sleep. I fled to a
 friends house and lived with him for a few months. I was starting to
 feel human again and living in a good home with good people. My father

 showed up to collect me. He let me know that he had found out about
 me taking money from my grand parents. He was not sure what to do with

 me, but my aunt and uncle knew of a program called the RPF at FLAG.
 my father took me down to the Concord mission to see a Sea Org
 After a RPEC and about 5hrs of everybody telling me to, I signed my
 Sea Org contract. My father let me know that I was booked on a flight
 tomorrow to Tampa Florida.

 There I became a messenger for the commodore, as well I was a kick ass

 missionaire. I did a lot of missions at and around FLAG. I also was
 getting into ethics trouble for false reporting mostly. I believe this

 was my way of handling the constant hill ten's in the Sea Org. I found

 the only was to have sex in the Sea Org was to get married. So I found

 a beautiful girl and got married at 17 yrs (I had to lie and say I was

 18) Heck I was a virgin and did not like it! actually I really fell in

 love. I choose to believe that I did at least. Life again was good I
 loved Scientology I loved my very beautiful wife. Not in that order
 I knew that I loved my wife a lot more then Scn, My wife however did
 love Scn more then me.

 A year passes and my wife is up-lines at LRH Archives and I am working

 in the Action Bureau of CMO IXU (very cool org!) I had a great time.
 Living in L.A was a trip, boy that hospital stinks! I was trying to
 clearance to go up lines and be with my wife. As we had been apart for

 most of the last year. Finally I got clearance to go up lines and off
 went. I must admit i had a pretty good idea about all of the up lines
 stuff ahead of time, but one was not permitted to communicate about it

 if you were not INT cleared.

 My new Org was Called LRH Archives, There I was the Estates Sec at the

 ripe old age of 19. Life was twice as fast at Archives, yet there were

 fewer to get it all done. That is mainly because it is hard to get
 clearance I guess. I was trying to hold down a division that the last
 5 Estates secs had been routed to the RPF directly from only after an
 avg. of 3 mo on post. I'm proud to say that I lasted nearly 9 months
 alas I to fell and was routed to the decks at INT. While on the decks
 I was on a full diet of sec checking and MEST work, along with a few
 others from my org.

 At this point I believe we became sort of dead wood. Nobody really
 what to do about us, so we were routed onto the RPF one by one. I was
 feeling very abandoned at this point and I knew I was not long for the

 Sea Org. I asked to route out and was denied. I was yelled at and told

 that I was throwing away my freedom. The Gold security guard yelled me

 this info until I was so scared I peed in my pants. I was told to
 report to the RPF and that was final.

 My first day on the RPF was actually good. I worked my ass off. kid
 not, RPF'ers work man! The same night I was getting routed into the
 RPF, when the RPF MAA came and told me that I was now going to the
 RPF. Something snapped in me and I knew that I was being swept under
 the carpet. I had made ethics change and I was still being punished.
 this was a violation of policy. I was a messenger and policy was not
 being applied. I kept thinking if Ron was here he would understand
 and sort everything out. Sure I would get ethics, But it would be
 the right handling. As Ron was dead as a door nail I knew this was not

 going to happen. I did the only thing that I could do and terminated
 my contract with the Sea Org under the cover of darkness.
 A week later I got a copy of my SP declare. Shit, I was quite the
 scum bag and never did anything right while in the Sea Org.

 Now it is 1997 and I am 27 yrs old. I still am not sure why I'm
 all of this, other then the fact that I believe something is wrong.
 I have been disconnected from my father and uncle for 6 yrs now. yet
 the whole reason I got into Scientology was to be able to communicate
 with my father better. Oh well.

 Here is to a better tomorrow :) Dylan Gill, A lurking thetan.


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