Title: "You're hanging out with that Whacko?" Stern on Travolta
zinjifar@inreach.com (Zinjifar)
Date: 20 Sep 97 09:16:23 GMT

got a transcript from Tashback that's making the rounds.
Howard Stern Friday morning with D'Amato.

Date: Sat, 20 Sep 1997 01:11:58 -0700 (MST)
X-Sender: tashback@mailhost.primenet.com
To: zinjifar@inreach.com
From: tashback@primenet.com (tashback)
Subject: stern transcript
Content-Length: 9276


        Phone Call with Sen. Al D'Amato Brushes on Scientology



H = Howard Stern
R = Robin Quivers (Howard's sidekick)
ADA = Senator Al D'Amato
Gary = Howard's producer


R: ...I think he's (ADA) much more busy with his other celebrity friends
H: Who's his other celebrity friends?
R: John Travolta
H: What?! You're hanging out with that wacko?
ADA: John Travolta came to Capitol Hill yesterday and testified about the
     Scientologists who are being persecuted and being denied jobs and
     being boycotted....
H: And what did you do? Did you throw him out of there?
R: In Germany...
ADA: His films aren't being permitted to be shown in Germany because he's
     a Scientologist.
H: Alright, do me a favor.  Will you blow up John Travolta too?
ADA: I told him that we play poker once in a while on Fridays and he wants
     to come to one...
H: Did you actually hang out with the Travolta?
ADA: No, but he's a very nice guy.
H: And where do you stand on Scientology? That can't possibly be a
   religion can it?
ADA: Well listen, I think you have a right to believe whatever you want...
H: Really?!
ADA: If you want to believe in the sun god I will defend your right,
     Howard, to believe in whatever you want.
H: Listen, we know, Senator, we know that Jesus Christ was a grrrreat man,
   a god.  That I believe.  I'll buy into the Jewish thing.  I'll even buy
   into that little fat green guy, Buddha; but, Muhammad, I don't think
   so. I don't think god is a black guy, okay?
R: Hey!
H: I'm sorry, I just don't buy it.
ADA: Robin, tackle him.
H: Alright, listen to me, Senator.  But, in no way I can believe that my
   senator believes L. Ron Hubbard is god.  You should have thrown
   Travolta right out of there, kicked him down the steps.
R: It was so funny, he came in with Isaac Hayes!
H: Who did?
R: John Travolta!
H: You're telling me John Travolta walked in with Isaac Hayes and you
   didn't boot those two right out of there? You know, our senator is so
   busy, he solves so many problems for so many people...
R: Yes, he's a very busy man.
H: For John Travolta and Isaac Hayes to be wasting his time, I am
   personally offended.  I'm offended.
ADA: You believe in the principle of free speech and people having a right
     to say what they want, and to worship, to believe what they want.
R: Well what are you going to do about Germany?
ADA: But by gosh, the greatness of this country and our system is people
     have that right.
H: Do you know John Travolta thinks he can heal people with his hands?
ADA: No, I don't know that.
H: I read that in the Enquirer.
ADA: If he believes that, that's his belief.
H: I think he's wacky. I also hear that he sits at a clay table with his
ADA: Awww, now stop that!
H: I can't believe it. What are you going to do about Germany now?
ADA: Well, what we have done, our commission, Helsinki Commission, will be
     looking into a number of the charges--people who have lost their jobs
H:  Really
ADA: Yeah, you know, ordinary working families.  One lost her license, she
     ran an employment center, it was revoked just because it was
     revealed that she was a Scientologist, and they wanted her to
     renounce this.
H: Boy.  Senator Al, going after everybody, I like it. I guess he's right,
   even if you want to be dopey and think that L. Ron Hubbard is god, you
   have a right to believe it.  I guess the senator is right.
R: Yeah, I didn't know that they were banning, that they wouldn't show Tom
   Cruise and John Travolta films there.
H: I don't blame them! I mean, did you see... Senator, did you see that
   Travolta film where he plays an angel? Oh my god! Hoofa! The worst, the
ADA: I saw that other film which was...
H: Which one? Mission Impossible?
ADA: No no, he gets shot in the bathroom...
H: Oh, uh, Pulp Fiction? That was good.
ADA: That was a good movie wasn't it?
H: Yeah, that was good. Hey, what's with all these celebrities now
   rejecting Jesus Christ and becoming these Scientologists? What do you
   make of this? I mean, for god sakes, we all know Jesus is numero uno!
ADA: People have a right to their own beliefs. I mean, I don't subscribe
     to that.  I practice my own faith.
H: Of course not.  L. Ron Hubbard was a failed science fiction writer who
   as a goof said to a friend, "I'm going to make a religion."
ADA: Hmm. Well, I don't know this.
H: I mean Jesus had a beautiful swimmer's body, a white guy--I mean, he
   was perfect.  Him I can see worshipping.  You start worshipping a
   failed science fiction writer--the world is coming to an end.  I don't
   get it.  I don't get it!  But alright, you're right, you're absolutely
   right: you should be able to worship whoever you want.  Why not.
ADA: And that's the principle: that everyone has the right.  And not to be
     permitted to work because you may have some belief...
H: L. Ron Hubbard.  "L" stands for laughing at everybody! It's
   unbelievable! No, our senator knows that Scientology is not a real
   religion, but...
R: But you know, if somebody wants to do that, they should have a
H: That's right. Let me ask you something...
ADA: It's just like being boycotted because someone doesn't like what you
H: The senator always stuck up for me. He sticks up for the downtrodden.
   He's going to bomb Canada for me. I'm so happy. Let me ask you one
   question and this is the truth: when you hit your thumb with a hammer
   do you say Jesus Christ or do you say L. Ron Hubbard?
ADA: Oh, I say, "Awww shoot!"
H: No you don't.  Listen Senator, what's going on? Anything important?
ADA: Well, we're have a fund-raising drive tonight to raise money for
H: Oh, you're against that?

[the rest is about the senator's participation in a breast cancer
fund-raising drive and then he gets off the phone]

R: I was wondering if you knew about the Travolta thing today. I didn't
   know we'd be talking to him today. I saw him in there yesterday with
H: Palling around with Travolta?
R: Well, they had a hearing, you know, this Helsinki Commission that he
   has. Travolta was in there with Isaac Hayes testifying.
H: The senator can't say it but I'm sure he was fuming, "Waste of my
R: I bet he was laughing hysterically.  "He believes what?!"

[Howard moves onto another subject.  Then he takes a phone call.]

H: Hold on a second. This guy says he was captured by Scientologists. What
   do you mean you were captured?
Caller: Well, they dragged me into what they call their Org for a free
        personality test. Their organization. Then they keep you there
        with one thing after another. And if you try to get away they
        double team you. They had me calling my family to sell my car to
        give them the money with inside of three weeks. So I just want to
        say Germany is absolutely right and I hope they squash them flat!
H: Okay. Thanks man. Well, there you go. Guy's a little bitter. What is
Gary: When I was in college. I don't know what I was thinking, I was such
      a fool. I was a freshman in college and I was walking by and some
      guy started talking to me about something, but he didn't say it was
      Scientology. I was like in a rush and it sounded sort of
      interesting, so he took my name and phone number...
H: Uh oh...
Gary: Right. It was Scientology. They called me every three weeks until a
      year after I graduated!
H: Wow!
Gary: They called me at home. They're relentless!
H: What did they think you had?
Gary: They kept wanting to sign me up!
H: You know it's weird, I told you this story: this was like going back
   twenty years when I was in college. I had just met Allison and
   everything, we were first going out, and her sister was down in Kenmore
   Square in Boston and some Scientology guy brought her in to see a movie
   and then they were kind of hassling her about getting out afterwards.
Gary: Well, that's what they did to... you heard the famous story: it was
      Nicholas Cage, Jim Carrey, and Crispen Glover. They had nothing to
      do one day, so they were walking around LA and they went into one of
      those things, and they said that the people got so excited that they
      locked the doors and they wouldn't let them out for like three
      hours. They had them watch three hours of these movies.
R: Yeah, their premise is if you come in you need to be here. So they
   don't want to let you out.
H: Right. Yeah, well, you know, hey look, they got a right to have their
   religion, I guess, but I don't know man.  I don't get it.
Gary: Well, but if you say "no" to someone every three weeks for five
H: I thought Senator Al might like put a stop to this kind of religion,
   you know what I mean?
R: He's gone along with it.
H: I say we say there's like five religions.
R: We gotta limit it to five?
H: Yeah, there's too many. Too many people... a lot of them are tax
R: You'd eliminate the fun ones--you know, the dancing with snakes ones
H: Yeah, I'm against that.  I don't believe that's a religion. I just

[And they move onto another topic]

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